He has a plan

In Novermber 2009, I think I was a little too excited. I felt like 12 months would be like nothing. But I feel like I can barely make it to 6 months... But I'll be ok because I know God is my strength! And when the time is right, I'll be back in ESSJ :) It's all in His hands & in His time!!!

I learned a lot out here though. I think I've done a lot of growing up. I learned to survive & be independent from my parents. I learned how to cook food that I can actually eat! Haha. I finally learned how to manage my money correctly... Haha I can finally keep my "room" in order. And most importantly, I have a greater appreciation for everyone & everything in my life.

Maybe God had to take me out of my comfort zone so I could see what He has blessed me with. And if I didn't take this job, I wouldn't have seen or experienced all of that.

But I still miss home :(

<3,
Am

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He's got my back :)

Hahah. Yup!

So I had to go to the office for like 20 minutes after lunch & I decided to walk. It was sunny when I left my apartment & I took the 10 minute route. On my way back, I decided to walk through the neighborhood, the long way... So I'm walking & then it starts to get dark. Its windy & it got really cold. Now I'm thinking, "craaap man!" I'm like a mile away. & so I'm praying it doesn't rain...

And praise God! It didn't. It started to sprinkle once I got to the plaza next to my complex. But now it's pouring! Craaaaaazy! God is always watching out for me! Even in the little things. Like walking to & from work :) I believe He prompted me to go to the office @ a certain time so that I can get back before it started to rain. Yup!

<3,
Am

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Sore :(

Its hard to sit & stand up from my chair at work! This exercise program is really working me out! Hahaha its cool though! No pain, no gain baby! Wait till you see me after 90 days! Whaaaapppppa! Lol! I doubt I'll be at my goal but I'm sure there will be a difference when people see me! Hahaha can't wait :)

<3,
Am

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I found it!

I finally have some motivation to study... What is it? Wanting to get out of this stinky (really, it smells) place!

Haha I finished 3 chapters today :)

Hahahaha ok yea...

<3,
Am

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What if...

I had friends that were my age in bakersfield? Would I enjoy my stay a little bit more? Oy... Work keeps me busy during the weekdays... So when I get home to my apartment, I'm just tired & hungry & I catch up with my tv shows, talk to my parents & jerm on the phone for a while... And then sleep. Then on the weekends... I'm so bored outta my mind & think a lot about the "what if's?" Uggghhhh. Like what if this... Blah blah blah... Then maybe I'd enjoy my stay here more.

2 more weeks & it'll be 4 months since I moved out of my parents house in essj. A little over 2 months & ill be here for 6 months.

I can do this. Yes. Lord, I can do this.

Had a chat w/my cousin yesterday through text. Haha. I miss having company. It succccckkks to be alone. I could go to that church I visited & make some friends. But what would be the point if I didn't feel at peace or connected w/anyone there? You know? I need friends in bakersfield :( that are my age... Haha but Yay for unlimited text & mobile to mobile :) hahaha the # of texts in our phone bill reaches thousands... I bet if I was in essj, it wouldn't be that high... Hahaha

I know I've said this before but I truly appreciate my family, bf, friends & pets(nacho&carlton hehe) a whole lot more than I did before. God gives us a limited amount of time here on earth. Life is precious. We're all getting older & I don't wanna look back on times when I could have loved certain people a little bit more. You know?

Because I'm honestly tired of having people come in & out of my life. Looking down on me for what I haven't accomplised... Tired of being fooled that I can trust certain people & in the end, they turn on me... Tired of not having consistent friendships. Tired of all the betrayal & backbiting. Tired of the competition & drama that go along with being a girl! Tired of the PLASTIC!

Hahhaha I'M SO OVER IT! I just wanna be your friend :) but if you don't feel the same, then that's cool too!

I was also tired of helping people. Cuz when they were down & out, I was there. I had yo back! But what about when I was down & out? Nothing. Or if there weren't any problems & I just wanted a friend to talk to? Ohhh you've just been really busy? Ok... But God showed me that its ok if the people I was there for, aren't there for me. I need Him, not them :)

God has blessed me with amazing people! I don't post on fb, twitter, etc calling them out. But I sure hope u guys know who you are :) And that, my friends, is why I miss home... I miss all of the awesome people who keep me sane in this crazy world!!! LOL and when I start missing my amazing family, bf, friends & pets... I start thinking of ways to get back to essj, permenantly! Hahaha never thought I'd say that!

I should sleep now. Goodnight :)

<3,
Am

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MD

The other day, this doctor asked me for my professional opinion. It was tiiiiiiiight! Hahaha I was being treated like I knew something! Awesome feeling :)

Cuz you know that being a newbie in the healthcare field, some seasoned nurses & doctors will eat you alive!

Well, I just wanted to share that experience. It was exciting for me because I was being taken seriously!

Hahaha ok, GOODNIGHT :)

<3,
Am
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"will you just stay with me?"

awww The Notebook is on ABC Family right now... i changed the channel at the perfect time :) this is my favorite scene.

ok. just thought i'd share.

<3,
Am

Not so bad

Being in bakersfield on a friday night... I could be in SJ... But I'm not, so I definitely gotta make the best outta my weekends here...

Tomorrow, I plan on making quiche :) I have a lot of eggs, cheese, & frozen spinach. Just hjave to buy some other ingredients... And then ill put them in a muffin pan. So I can eat one when I'm on the go! Whooohooo! I think ill freeze them too!

I'm thinking of making a steak for dinner tomorrow too! I have sirloin steak that my mom offered me to take hehehe. I can't wait to sleep in and make a pot of coffee. I'm really craving some coffee right now. Oh! I'm trying to get used to drinking coffee without cream/milk. Now I can just drink coffee w/ 2 splenda. But on the weekends, ill take a break & indulge in cream for my coffee hahaha.

So besides cooking & serving my food in cafe world, I pretty much have nothing planned for this weekend...

Ughhh sucks. oh well, gotta do what you gotta do...

<3,
Am

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When I can't have something, that's when I crave it the most!

Hahahaha like seriously! When I'm in SJ, I don't crave filipino food as much. But as soon as I'm in a city with only 2 filipino stores, I start craving adobo & leche flan! Maaaan! This craving is intense lol! I want tinola!

But I wanna give up rice! Haha I don't do lent... But I think for "lent" ill give up rice... Hahahaha I can lose some weight too :)

<3,
Am

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Sunrise/Sunset

By the end of next month, the sun should be rising earlier & setting later... (thanks to daylight savings time)

I'm really excited to start walking to & from work. I see a lot of people doing that all the time! The area seems pretty safe. Lots of people go jogging around here too!

I think the plan will be to put all my work stuff in my backpack. Get to work early, then change into work clothes. Then after work, change back into reg clothes. So I don't walk in dressy shoes. And so I could look more like a student :)

That would save on gas, even though it doesn't take much gas to get to work anyway, which saves me some $$, & it helps the environment. One less car in this polluted city! I have my pepper spray just in case :) hahaha

I'm so excited :) I'm looking forward to it!

<3,
Am

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Yup

I didn't wake up until 5am... Hahaha then I went back to sleep & woke up at 730.

I feel well rested :)

Gotta finish eating breakfast then get ready for work.

I feel like I'm ready to face whatever comes my way today! Thank You Lord!

<3,
Am

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Last night in SJ...

And I'm saaaaaad :(

Right now, I'm really feeling like I don't wanna go back! Ugggghhhh, it sucks. Trying to keep positive & trying to remind myself that living in that city is not that bad. And as long as God is with me, I'll be able to get through this...

*sigh* I have days when I feel like packing up my stuff & move back to SJ. Today is one of those days.

Maybe it won't actually be that bad tomorrow... Keep me in ur prayers...

<3,
Am

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Happy Valentine's Day :)

So I usually don't like all the hoopla that goes along with Valentine's Day... Like, I believe that you should love everyday of the year. Not just on February 14! Like, its cool to get flowers & presents... But its even better when that happens spontaneously, not just cuz the advertisements reminded you, you know? Hahahaha

So today, I don't wanna talk about what my bf & I are gonna do. Cuz honestly, I just want pho & frozen yogurt lol! But last night, he cooked up an amazing dinner for us :) I tried not to help, so I watched part of the NBA all star game for him hahaha.

I miss my sister :) hahaha that's why I'm on her bed, writing this blog. Hahaha

So anyway. What I wanted to say was that on Valentine's Day, its not about the fancy things your special someone gives you...

It's really the thought & effort that counts :) (but fancy things are nice too! Haha)

Here's a pic of the yummy dinner my bf made! We had a cesar salad to start off with. Then he grilled 2 new york strip steaks. We also had mushrooms & onions sauté'd in white wine. Then he grilled asparagus & made mashed potatoes. For dessert, we each had a piece of burnt almond cake w/banana! It was soooooooo good! Then, to end the night, we watched csi miami & ny! I love my bf :) he does the sweetest things! Sometimes... Hahahhahaha jk!

<3,
Am

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Matthew 25: 34-40

34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.


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Oh my parents :)

Sunday morning, my dad called me twice. Then once more after dinner. He'll call me once in a while. Once a day @ the most. But 3 times on sunday? Someone was missing their oldest daughter! Hahaha I can't blame him :) lol jk. Its weird that I'm able to talk on the phone with my dad for like half an hour these days...

& for the past hour, my mom & I have been texting hahaha cuz my dad is apparently having a deep conversation & my mom doesn't wanna interrupt. Haha so we're texting until they leave.

I think its interesting how my relationship with my mom & dad is now... Its changed & its a lot better :) we've always been close but things r really different. W/my sister too. I haven't argued with her or my parents since I moved out of the house hahaha

<3,
Am

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God is good!

He is so faithful & He will ALWAYS provide. He makes a way when it seems impossible!

I feel so blessed! Jesus loves me & shows me that He is alive & working in my life, even in the smallest things. He is a great God! I'm so thankful!

He provides my needs, not my greed :) know what I mean?

When I start worrying about finances or if I start worrying about how my refrigerator is starting to get empty & how I can't afford to pay for another basket of groceries or household supplies until my next paycheck... God always provides. It really is difficult when ur first starting out & ur not under ur parent's roof anymore. Besides the excitement of being out on your own, there's a lot to learn. This is reality. But He wants to show me that its not my parents that I should depend on... I need to depend on Him for everything!

I could easily quit my job & find a better high paying job in SJ... Live with my parents & spend my $$ on other things besides my tuition, rent, utilities, & transportation. To some people, that would be the SMART, most LOGICAL thing to do...

But my heart tells me that I need to be here for a while. Even when I have almost nothing... & I'm on my last dime... God is my everything & that's all I need to survive out here! Thank You Lord for Your blessings!

"Lord, You never let go of me"

Ever since I moved out of my parents house, I went through things that I never imagined I would have to go through. My parents were right when I used to complain to them about petty things. Those issues seemed so big before. & they would tell me that it's just the way it is & my complaints were small compared to what is to come. It wasn't that they were telling me my problems were insignificant... But there are bigger problems to deal with. Does that make sense? Idk. But it makes a whole lotta sense to me now.

Anyway, sometimes I get lonely here.. Or really really bored... But God reminds me that He's with me & He will ALWAYS be with me, even when everyone else is so far away. Since I don't go to a bible study anymore or have anyone here to share my testimonies with... I'm going to write everything here. So that maybe someone who stumbles upon my blog will read how great God is & what He is doing in my life.

This was just supposed to be a blog about my nursing adventures, how my job is, what I'm doing, etc. But every nurse has their own story. It doesn't have to be all about nursing. God put the desire to be a nurse in my heart. He opened doors that led me here. He is in ultimate control. God is guiding my paths & taking me through this adventure. God is so awesome! Just had to share... Even if this was a really loooooong post :)

<3,
Am
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FB

Sooo I'm like browsing through facebook trying to see if there are any old good high school friends that I wanna add... So I come across this guy's fb & I crack up.

Why? Cuz anyone who knows me knows I hate going around certain parts of ESSJ... I just don't wanna see old high school acquaintances and its just awkward. It always goes something like "oh hey! Wassup?" "Hey! How u been?" "Good & u?" "Oh it was nice seeing u" hahaha its just AWKWARD.

So like, a friend from nursing school willingly traveled to the east side to work on a project at my house. Haha. So we were at walgreens near checkers, cuz it was the closest from the freeway. So we go our separate ways cuz I wanted to buy a soda so she's like, "hey Am! Ill go wait in line." So just as she said that, I say ok & turn around the corner & pass this guy who I went to hs & middle school with. I think nothing of it... Thinking he probably didn't recognize me.

So I get in line & tell my friend that I thought I just saw this guy I went to high school with... Then my friend tells me that she heard him say to his friend "Am? Hey, I went to high school with her" good thing they left before I got to the line. Or else akward hello's would have been exchanged... Hahaha oh man.

Then another time, my sister screamed my name @ a blockbuster store... Then someone who knew me heard it & searched for me. Hahaha she was all, I heard someone scream ur name so I wanted to find you & say hi... Hahah its cool tho. Cuz she was a good friend :) its the acquaintances that u never really talked to in hs that are most awkward...

That's what happens when people know only one Am... Hahaha

Ok. Time to get off work. Well, almost :) I just HAD to share my story. Lol

<3,
Am

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My life in bakersfield...

Consists of sleeping, figuring out wat to eat, then eating, drinking lots of coffee, working, studying & most importantly, spending time w/God :)

Not much goes on here... & I get homesick. A LOT!!! But we all have to make sacrifices in our lives sometimes... God allows us to go through certain things in life so that we can grow... Righhht??? Yes. Yes He does! He is the vine & we are the branches. He's got to prune us sometimes so we can grow stronger in faith. Have more passion in serving Him. More compassion for those who need Him. He's gotta take us out of our comfort zone when we get too comfortable (like 4 hours away... Haha) so that we turn to Him & trust in Him COMPLETELY! God's got a plan! HELLOOOO?! Haha

God is soo good! He never leaves my side :)
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Must be nice...

To work part time but get paid for full. AND to have ur company pay for ur nursing school.

Muussst. Be. Niiiiiiicce.

<3,
Am

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