Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder...

Just sayin'

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

To MG

Its been a couple years since you've gone to Heaven but today I thought about you, MG.

<3,
Amy

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

How difficult is it to keep your word?

Honestly?! Liars & flakes annoy me!!!

In the bible it even says to keep your word! Let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Keep your word!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Late night!

team coco & team loco make late nights a lot funnier! HAH!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

1 Peter 1:22 NLT

You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Get over yourself!!!

How about trying to be selfless for just one minute?!?!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Sigggghhhh

Feeling kinda discouraged... Ughhh whatever.

Shake it off, just shake it off.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

No way!

I should be flattered that they keep asking me to go back. But there's absolutely NO way I'm moving back to Bako. Just not worth my sanity. Naw mean?

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wow really?

Some people say the dumbest things. I get so annoyed by it!!! Its best they keep their mouth shut before I shut it for them! JK, that sounds kinda violent, lol!

Ughh, but anyway, homeboy was implying that 2011 would be the year my bf & I would marry. Yea, we were planning on that, but just to spite you, its going to happen at a later date :)

I understand that I should learn to let things go blah blah blah. But people just looooovve to get in my business & put their 2 cents in. Like really, I didn't ask you about my future marriage. So kindly butt out & stop giving me advice!!! I don't want a marriage like yours, k? :)

Hahaha oh man. Am I angry? Not really, just really annoyed at people who think they know my bf & me.

And...

Its hard to find real, true & loyal friends. Like, have you ever gone soooo out of your way for someone and they didn't even appreciate it? Its so frustrating, right?! *sigh*

But aside from the dumb comments people say, that I should just be ignoring, I do realize I am so blessed with such a loud loving ilocano family, a truly wonderful bf, fun friends that I can be myself with, & best of all, I'm loved by my God who is the realest, truest, loyal friend I will ever have.

<3,
Am


Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Gooooood morning!!!

I'm up early! Haha yes, this is early for me. Today, I'm 25 & 3 days old! LOL!

Anyway, I feel like my 25th year is going to be a good year!!! Don't ask me how I know this. I just know it. I feel it. :) My God is mighty & I believe He has great plans for me!

Big ups to my friends who greeted me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Thank youuuuu!!! For me, its the little things in life that count & make me happy. And a greeting on my birthday did just that :) Thank you to my friends who remembered! AND thank you to my friends who looked on the right side of their screen on FB hahaha!

Although it may seem like I did nothing out of the ordinary, I seriously enjoyed my day! My bf and I had lunch at House of Genji, sang(more like rapped) to some biggie & bone thugs while driving to the theatres LOL, watched Easy A, got a free Venti Iced Coffee (yummm), went to Best Buy, chilled at home, and had dinner at home(cooked by my mom& she made ALL my favorites!) Hahaha the night before my birthday, we had some food prepared for our bible study which just turned out to be a dinner instead of eating and then having bible study... Haha

It was a good day! I love spending time with my family & friends!

<3,
Am


Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

You can't be in a relationship with someone if you don't trust them.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Embarrassing!!!

Omggggg... I walked out of my house to help my mom with the groceries in a tank top & my lavendar sheep pajamas with my hair looking like a hot mess... Its the afternoon. & I didn't know my gangsta neighbors were outside... So they saw me... Ughhhh I feel so embarrassed!!! Hahaha

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Marriage

Ok. So its one thing when I talk about wanting to get married, but I find it super irritating when people tell you or your boyfriend that you NEED to get married or that its time... Really?? YOU know that its time for me to get married? How come I didn't know about this?

Like, what's it to you? Its our life & we will get married when we want to. Obviously, we aren't ready AND we don't have a strong conviction that now is the time to get married... Why are we not ready? Because we both don't have jobs to provide for ourselves. Unlike some people, I believe being able to provide for yourself & for your family is a sign of being ready to get married. In this day & age, love isn't enough. Love sure don't pay the bills...

And don't you think God would put it in our hearts when the time is right to get married??? Just cuz a 'friend' says, "its time" does not mean that it is.

I don't know. I'm just so irritated every time I hear certain people talk about it with my boyfriend. Our future is none of your business.

How do you even respond to a person like that? This happens alllll the time & that's why I've chosen to distance myself from them. *sigh*

<3,
Am




Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Ok...

So, after watching Gangland tonite, I have got to admit, I'm a liiiiittttle bit creeped out by how dangerous some inmates are... BUT after reading some forum discussions about how it is for a nurse to work in a correctional facility, it doesn't seem that bad... Haha

Anyway, someone made a comment about a decision I made recently... I was kinda bugged by it. Didn't react to the comment though, I just let it slide. But its still bugging me.

Ughh whatever though. Its just one of those things when I just need to remind myself that it doesn't matter what people think or say about me or the things I've done. I don't need to explain myself to people. As long as I have the support of my family & close friends, I'm good! God has a plan for me :)

I can honestly say I have no regrets about anything I've done & if I had to do it all over, I would do everything the same. I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for the things I've experienced in the past.

<3,
Am


Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Job Hunting!

So far, the places that are hiring or will be hiring in the near future are all outside of San Jose!

For real tho, I'm really going to try now. No more lazyness! Come on! I can do this! The job the Lord has set aside for me is out there. I know it! I feel it! Haha seriously tho! Its there.

I'm really excited...

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Move back to Bakersfield?

Yesterday, I got an offer to move back & work at my previous job. My answer? NO! In the nicest way possible...

Seriously?? It was my decision to leave in May. Why would I want to go back? He said I missed my opportunity to become a director. Ehhh, that's what he thinks. My God is greater & He will open doors that no one can open. And who says I want to be a nursing director? Not everybody aspires to be a Director of Nursing...

Thanks, but no thanks!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wow

Driving to CVS, and this crazy guy in a grungy old truck(cream colored body & a black bed & that door that you can open & close was black as well... Soooo first of all, he cut us off when we were in the slow lane. He cut us off from the right side! He was freakin driving on that space where you aren't allowed to drive!

Then we exit the freeway & he cuts off this other car! This time, we were all stopped at a red light. He was in the lane going straight and he didn't even look over his left shoulder & he moves into the left turning lane! This prius hecka honks cuz he was about to hit him! And so the stupid guy in the truck sticks his head out and just stares down the prius! That white guy had some nerve! It was his own fault. Ughhh...

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

JO KOY :D

I can't wait until they post the pictures up from the San Jose Improv! I'm suuuuuccch a huge fan!!! He's hilarioussss!!! And he's really nice & sweet too!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

It is what it is.

I'm gonna make the most of it.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Sisqo took the words right out of my mouth...

"We're not even trying to change
Tell me how it slips away
Does it ever stay the same
We don't even talk no more
We've ran out of words to say
Tell me it don't have to change
Won't it ever stay the same "

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Maann.

I feel kinda old... How much more when I'm 50yo? *sigh* I have GOT to learn to age gracefully. Or I'll turn into those people who tell the youngins "don't get old" hahaha

"Enjoy yourself. That's what your 20s are for. Your 30s are to learn the lessons, your 40s are to pay for the drinks." SATC

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [Debut Single]

Whooohoo!

Sooo, in order to apply for a position at the state prison, you've got to take a test.

Sooo, I took it, & I passed! But its not really based on knowledge haha. Just based on my experience & my willingness to comply.

I was going to apply today, but I got somewhere to be. So maybe when I get home. I'm excited :D

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Arghh!!

So its been about 1.5 months since I left. And they still haven't given me my full paycheck!!! Its late, I can't sleep, & I just want my money!!!

So blessed to be outta there!!! But I just want the rest of my paycheck so I can be done with them & move forward w/o looking back! They are filled with soooo many excuses too! Ughh whatever.

God bless them!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Just one of them days...

When I wake up & think, "What the heck am I doing with my life?" Its been about 1.5 months since I left my job. No regrets. I'm so thankful that I resigned when I did! Praise God! It was perfect timing :D

But honestly, I haven't even REALLY tried finding a job. Sure, I filled out applications & turned them in, but I haven't REALLY tried. I honestly enjoyed doing absolutely nothing for the past month and a half. It was very relaxing. I may have gained more weight, but hey! I just have to start being more active! Its been nice sleeping when the sun starts to rise! And even better waking up when its almost time for lunch! Haha but I'm afraid this part of my life needs to come to an end. This chapter must close, forreal this time! Haha

This is my last week of slacking off! Next week, I will wake up early! I will physically go out & look for a job! I will quit being lazy! I declare it!

:D thank You Lord!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wayne Brady

He can sing. He's funny. He's handsome... My celebrity crush of the week is Wayne Brady! Hahaha

:P

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Oh my goodness

Someone needs to get rid of the man handling payroll & marketing. He's obviously not doing a good job. Its been over a month! Where's my paycheck?! Your excuses aren't cutting it!

>:O
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

So blessed!

Because the Lord is truly guiding me! If I stayed w/the agency in bako, I wouldn't have had the money to pay for my rent, bills, food, etc... I called the guy in charge of the payroll. And nope, they still haven't mailed it. Hecka whack. Whatever tho. Ill be calling again tomorrow.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Ugh.

I don't even know anymore...

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Happy father's day!

My dad taught me to stand up for myself, how to be tough, & to take crap from no one. He taught me to be straight to the point & to not sugar coat the things I need to say. He taught me to be real while people around me are fake. People don't like how we are sometimes but that's cuz we mean business & we don't live to please people. Don't mess w/me & my family. Yup, that's what he taught me. Thank you Dad for all of your hard work in raising ur daughters. I love you!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Today was a good day!

Even though it was hecka hot! I taught sunday school for the first time since october! Maaan, for a minute, I felt like I forgot how to teach! Haha I think when I left, I only had 5 students. Today I had 11 but 3 of them are graduating to the next class! Whooo but I'm sooo glad to be back! I really missed my students! They crack me up!

Oh! There was something that kinda irritated me at church. So, it was hot & stuffy in the sanctuary right?! So SOMEBODY thought they were waaay cool & felt like it was ok to paint their nails IN the sanctuary. I mean, come on! The air was NOT circulating at all! I had to switch seats. Because it was giving me a headache. But whatever, I didn't complain to them. I let it slide today. & also! They would just think I'm some old fart who just doesn't understand how important a proper mani/pedi is!!! But believe me, I soooo understand! Hahaha but a stuffy sanctuary before worship starts just isn't the time or place, honey.

Anyway, besides that, today was a good day!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

SAN JOSE :D

Its my second week back & I heaaaaart it!!! I don't miss bakesfield one bit :P

Gotta get ready for Jessica's grad right now. So ill blog more later :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Since 2003

And this is the first time we spontaneously headed to the beach! Hahaha awww. Just jerm & me :D
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wow.

I'm training someone to take my place right now & going over everything is crazy! Its my last day tmrw! I'm kinda sad but also very excited :D

its been fun bako!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

:D

The day after tomorrow is my last day!!! And my friends will be visiting! Yaaaay!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

THANK YOU :D

I love You Lord! Thank You Lord for the blessings in my life! I am soo grateful for the doors You have opened for me! Thank You for the lessons I have learned & for the trials I have gone through! I am stronger because of it! You taught me to continue to trust & have faith in You! You have always provided & You calmed my biggest fears. Thank You for Your favor! I am beyond blessed because of Your love for me! Thank You for never letting me go!

Thank You Lord for closing this chapter in my life! & Thank You for the people I have worked with during the last 6 months! But there are more places to go & more people to meet :)

I don't know what's ahead of me but I feel so excited for what's to come! I love You :D

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

LOLs of the day!

Earlier today the bf was talking about how he needed to buy facial cleanser. He said he needed to "refill my stash." I heard "feel my stash," so I reached over & felt his mustache & he gave me a 'what r u doing' kind of look. I was all "what? U said to feel ur stash." Hahahah omg...

Then I heard my sister say, "I smell ammonia." And I said, "hello, you just painted ur nails!" She replied, "what? I asked how do u spell pneumonia?"

Hahaha wooow!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Saturday morning in ESSJ

I like hearing the drum line/marching band practice. It makes me feel like there's something more to this neighborhood besides the stupid uneducated wangsta neighbors that live here. Hahaha

Go Sixers!!!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Oh em geee man!

Gosh! FB is making me so sad... Maaaan like, I get that you can be with someone for YEARS and then in the end it doesn't work out. Yea, that sucks but what can u do? Stuff like that will happen. But I don't get why people cheat. If its not working out & u start getting feelings for someone else, at least do the right thing and break up first... Don't be a coward! Its not cool to break up with the girl u have been with for years and then put that u went from "in a relationship" to "single" then the following week u put up that ur w/someone else and that "single" went to "in a relationship."

Dang man! Why r some people so freakn heartless?! Ehhh, its just so freakn high school to see that stuff on fb, ukno? How many years have u been out of hs? Its been a while buddy, time to grow up!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Last!

This is the last thursday night I have to pack for a weekend in ESSJ! Next week, ill be going home on sunday. But ill be coming back monday with my parents suv to pick up my bed! Then that's it!

Buh-bye BAKERSFIELD!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

can't sleep -___-

I'm thinking about creating a new blog... This little adventure out here in Bako is about over... and I kinda wanna start fresh... June1st maybe? I have to think of a name for my blog. Then I'll post a link here & on twitter if anyone is interested... hahaha

but yea... I can't sleep D: I have a lot on my mind tonight... *SIGH* IDK why I'm feeling like this today... feeling kinda bluuuue :( yeaaaa. I'm feeling kinda saaaad...

Oh! and a few nights ago, I had a dream about searching for a psychology textbook. I basically searched all throughout the house. I felt like I sooo knew where it was but each place I looked, it still wasn't there! In my dream, I didn't want to wake up because I knew that it was somewhere, I just had to find it... It was pretty weird. I felt like I was soo close to finding it tho... What could my dream possibly mean??

hmmm... anyway, I better try to get some sleep! I usually try to sleep around 10-1030. It's way past my bedtime. Goodnight!

<3,
Am

Song of the night :D

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper
I love you
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say "nighty night" and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me
you'll miss me.
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on..
dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger til dawn..
dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams til sun beams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you.
But in your dreams, whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger til dawn
dear
Just saying this..

Sweet dreams til sun beams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you
But in your dreams. whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

"Dream A Little Dream"
sung by Kevin McHale

Tomorrow is Thursday!

My giant suitcase is packed! My closet is almost empty! I have a box full of books and notebooks that's ready for me to put in my car! Eeeeeee! I'm kind of excited these days :D

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Got my hair did!

Ok not really. She just cut & styled it. However, it was the first time in 24 1/2 years that a non-asian cut my hair. Having lived in ESSJ my whole life, you would have to pay hundreds of dollars for a CHANCE to not have an asian cut ur hair. And that's just a chance, most likely an asian would still end up cutting ur hair!

So today was a total culture shock for me... Hahahaha I had a nice girl cut my hair. She was friendly & easy to talk to. She wasn't asian. She was a red headed white girl. When u first walk into the salon, they had carpet. The salon advertised itself as a modern salon... Ummm. I felt like I was really in bako. They even had country music playing throughout the whole salon. Modern? Uh I don't think so... They charge $45 for a hair cut. From the looks of the place, you'd think they wouldn't charge you more than $20... Hahaha I was the ONLY non white person there. I felt eyes on me... Haha whatever. OH!!! She pulled one of those "people with ur type of skin color/people who have dark skin like u" kind of comments on me... Hahaha really tho? U think I'm dark? I'm NC40... Uhh I'm not that dark... Sheeeesh!

Anyway. My cut was aiiite.. Ill probably hit up my boy KEVIN in ESSJ when I move back! Hahaha his salon has consistently given me nice cuts for the past 2 years. Unlike some other salon where I'd have split ends in a couple weeks... Ughhh.

I'm excited for tmrw! Its wednesday! Which means we are half way through the week!!!

<3,
Am


Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

This probably sounds weird...

But I'm gonna miss the people I usually talk to on the phone... Like, people at the pharmacy, DME, & MD offices... When they hear my name their tone changes from professional to casual like, "oh hey! How are u?" Haha awww. So the girl who will be replacing me is nice. She seems like the perfect replacement! I praise God for this answered prayer. I've been praying for someone to apply so that I could leave on the 28th and not have to worry about the office... And what happens?? God answered it! His timing was perfect! As usual!

Today went well :) now I just have to close up the office and head to the salon & get a hair cut! Yeeeeeaaa-uh!

Today was a good day :D

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I'm being replaced :D

You would think this was a bad thing... But it isn't!!! Yaaaaaaay! Hahaha

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

WoOt wOot!

Hahahaha I am 10 days away from my last day :D

I can't wait!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Hmmmm

So I'm eavesdropping on a conversation... And I think I'm gonna be training a RN to take over my position. A LVN training a RN? Haha coooooooo!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Seriously...

I have decided that I'm not even going to try anymore. I'm done.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

:D

Yaaaay!!! I'm so happy that next week is my last week! I just gotta get through this week! I'm so excited!!! I'm so tired of sitting at a desk & doing paperwork! Ughhhhh... I can't wait until the 28th :D I have had more than enough of this town & this job! Less than 10 work days left!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Eeeeeeeeee :D

I am 2 weeks away from my last day! I'm so excited :D starting June 2nd, I'll be kinda busy tho! I have to take an IV/blood withdrawal class. I have to take classes to make sure I've completed all the prereqs for the lvn-rn program. And most importantly, I have to look for a new job! A job that suits me!

I'm so excited!!!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

So many things to do!

Where do I start?

*sigh*

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

:D

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF THE LOVELY MAMA'S!!!

God has blessed me with such a wonderful mother! She is and has always been patient & understanding with my sister & me. She never compared us to other people. She has always encouraged us to do & be our best. She accepted us for who we are & she always believed in us. Thank you mommy for always being here for me, for being my friend when I felt like I had no one to turn to, and for always knowing the right things to say, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I love you mommy!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Not afraid by Eminem

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

..

Wow. Just heard that on the radio. I thought the lyrics were really good. Wanted to share :D

AND! I did it! My last day is May 28. I stood my ground! Thank You Lord :D

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Can't sleep!

I have so much on mind right now! Its hot. I'm restless. I'm bored. And my fingers hurt because I was trying to learn a new song on my ukulele!

I can't wait for this week to be over! Thank God tomorrow is friday!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Seriously?

I have already given my 2 week notice. In fact, when they asked me to stay the end of May, I said ok. Now they are asking me to stay till the end of July? I said we'll see but I already have my answer. And I'm standing my ground.

This is whack. They said they trust me & they are confident that they can leave the company with me even if they leave the country. They said I'm good at what I do. Ok? So what if I'm freakin good at my job?! I already made arrangements to move & go back to school in the summer. They said its hard to find a job! Who the heck are they? Why should I sacrifice more of my life for this company?

I'm angry as hell right now! And its making me sick to my stomach.

Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

:(

What a horrible day! Its not even over yet... I just want to go home.

Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wow.

I should have known. I always get this weird feeling in my stomach when something just isn't right at work.

*SIGH* I dislike my job even more today :(

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Ehh

I'm feeling sooo lazy today. I don't wanna go to work. Ugh... Booo!

I just feel like I'm over this job & I'm over this town. I'm just forcing myself to be here. 3 1/2 more weeks... But its taking soooooo long! I'm praying the person who will be replacing me comes soon!

Ughhh... Guess I should get ready :(

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

FOOD!

Ugh, I need to start eating healthy! I feel so gross :( my food choices have been really bad since I started living on my own... I mean, when I do cook, the food I make isn't too unhealthy. but the times when I don't cook & I get really lazy... I eat out! Ugh! Like last week! Makes me sick just thinking about it! I ate out EVERYDAY!

I have an eating problem :( I eat way too much!

I need to eat healthy foods... Ugh... Easier said than done tho! I'm craving chicken wings as I type! Hahaha living at home is easier when it comes to food. When I crave something, there are PLENTY of people to stop me. Since I'm out here by myself, no one stops me. BUT! I do call my mom & jerm sometimes when I kno I shouldn't give in to junk! Hahaha

Man. I'm hungry.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Drop baby drop!

I think I've finally learned how to play Drop Baby Drop by Mana'o Company!!! Its not perfect but I got it down! Yaaaay! I'm sooo happy :) I'm gonna keep practicing this song for awhile.

Then I wanna learn Honey Baby by Three Plus! That's gonna be my wedding hula song :) I already got who my hula girls will be in mind! Haha and I already know who I want to be playing it on the ukulele & who will be singing it! Next is song I'm learning is Stuck On You by Ekolu (originally by Lionel Richie.)

Haha learning how to play an instrument is fun! *sigh* I forgot how much I like island music! Now if only I lost weight so I can go back to doing hula & tahitian! *sigh* those were the days! One day... but if that day doesn't come, I'm gonna make my future daughter do it! Hahaha

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I did it!

Yesterday! Haha sooooo I said what I had to say & told him I was giving my 2 weeks notice. I was thinking maybe my boss would say, its ok, today is your last day... But he didn't. Instead he asked if I could stay until the end of next month... And I said ok... I probably shouldn't have said ok, but he's my dad's friend. And I don't want any awkwardness.

But hey! At least I only have 4 weeks! Hahaha and who knows, maybe once they find a replacement, they won't need me to stay for the rest of the month!

At least now I'm finally moving forward & doing something about it. Tomorrow I'll be giving my apartment management my 30 day notice! Whoooo! This chapter of my life will be closing. And another one is just waiting to begin!!! I'm really excited :D

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

What a day!

I was verrrrrrry irritated by one of our nurses today. oh em geeee. like forrealll, i know that i was making a face at her tho. haha. like i was doing my best to keep a straight face & just listen to the crap she was saying. but i know it probably looked like i was mad. shoot. i dont really care tho. she does this ALL the time. and it was the first time i actually stood up for myself. like, how are you going to give me your incomplete paperwork, expect me to do it, follow up on your patients for you, & then when i question you about details related to the patient, you say i worry about it too much? come on now. do your job so i can do mine.

AND!!! this old nurse had the nerve to say, "that's why i'm telling you blah blah blah..." wow, really? a minute ago, you didn't even know that until i told you. and now YOU are the one telling me? whatever tho. just because i'm young and new doesn't mean i don't know anything. she's lucky i stayed professional. unlike her. raising her voice and crap. irritated me soooo bad! siiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggh! its ok. the day is over and i finished my job. as long as my job gets done, i can sleep.

besides, i'm moving back next month :) my family & a couple friends know. but that's the plan! my boss doesn't know yet. anyway, details on my next blog!

<3,
Am

Ok so its not that crazy.. But it was so clear. Almost like I was really living it. Weird... Haha

Last night I had a dream I was watching a movie in a theater. It was a theater that looked more like a classroom. We had desks to put our snacks on. No one sat in groups. It seemed like it was a "singles only" theater. Haha idk? People were sitting in every other chair. The movie was about to go on and I realized it was like a horror film. So when it got dark, I got up out of my seat to leave. Then I guess I knocked over this girls snacks. And I was scared of her so I had to put it back together... Haha! Idky? Ok so then I'm finally able to leave, I get out and I'm in this mall. Kinda looked like great mall but more spacious. I'm trying to find a why out and the I end up walking in a neighborhood.

The houses were town houses, kinda like the neighborhood I grew up in when I has a kid. It must have been cold because I had my pink polka dot comforter wrapped around me. It seemed like I was wearing wat I was wearing in reality. Does that make sense? The clothes I wore to sleep were the clothes I was wearing in my dream. Hahaha ok. So I'm walking around and then the pavement turns to dirt, and then to sand and before I knew it, I was at the beach. When I got to the beach, it looked like I was on another planet. Hahaha the moon and the sky looked really weird. It seemed like the sun was setting. Anyway, I turned around and the town houses were still there. But now there were lots of trees. So I felt like I made a wrong turn so I started walking back to where I came from.

So I'm walking, then I reach this area with a bunch of tarp tents and our whole youth group is sitting at a table. I look around and we are all basically in some foreign country. So we're chillen there for a while. It was a cloudy looking place. For some reason, I was thinking Indonesia. Anyway, we all get up and start walking towards this plaza. But we all see fireballs falling from the sky in the distance. A few friends & I were at one end of the plaza while the younger kids in the group were way ahead of us. Then we see this massive fireball coming towards us. Then specks of the fire (idk its really called) fell on charlie! So we all run towards him & try to get the fire out. It was on his ear, then spread to his clothes. The techniques we were using weren't working. So I finally took my blanket and tried to cover the flames with that. It works in the movies right? Haha and idk why I was still wearing my blanket. Anyway. The fire wasn't like a flaming fire. Looked like it was trying to go inside and it started to glow like gold or something. So now we're all freaking out. And he screams like how they do when people are in pain in the movies. So I pat him down and hug him tight with my blanket. Then I woke up.

I had to share. Its the most vivid dream I had in a while.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

!!!

Ugh! Idk how much more I can take! I'm so tired of this! I'm reluctant to go to work!!! I'm irritated on a daily basis.

Why oh why did I tell the apartment management that I would be staying here for 12 months? I'm going to the management office after work to check how much I would owe if I broke the agreement... Because I cannot take it anymore!

If I can afford to pay it, then I can leave! I don't need to stay. And why should I have to? Right? If God says to stay, then I will. But if I can go home, then I'm going home!

-Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

My last day :(

Of having cable. I have decided to cancel my cable(including basic) & landline. Everything I watch on tv can be watched on the internet :) and maybe I can be more productive without my cable! And landline? Idk wat I was thinking! Very helpful tho when I've misplaced my phone *sigh* Cable & phone, u gots to go!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Really?

I'm so annoyed right now. Its not even funny.

Argh! Whatever... The work day is thisclose to being over & I'm going home tmrw :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

5 months!

Can u believe it? Tomorrow is 5 months since I moved to this stinky town! Wow...

Well, its been a struggle... But I survived it & I'm continuing to survive it. Its made me stronger :) Thank You Lord for getting me through it!

Maybe it would have been an easier transition from dependent to Miss Independent if I was a couple hundred miles closer to home... It was like, BAAAAMMM! Goodbye family, friends, everything else! Ur on ur own! LOL its ok... I am thankful for everything I've experienced here. Good, bad, awkward. Hahaha I had to experience it all for a reason :)

I'm excited for these upcoming months tho :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Funny funny

I answered the phone with my usually greeting. Then this guys goes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think I dialed the wrong #. Hahah seriously. His "uh" lasted a really long time. It was so funny. He said sorry, he was trying to reach a bank.

Lol idk. Ok.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Prison

I wanna work in one. Like forrellll!

I met a nurse who worked in one a few months ago & she liked it! Whats seriously holding me back from applying to one are my parents & bf. Doesn't sit too well with them... Hehe and I totally understand. But its something that I've always wondered about since I finished nursing school.

I wanna at least try working in a prison. Even if its just for a few months. Doesn't hurt to try!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Prayer request

For anyone who may come across this blog...

Please pray for my grandma Rosalia (my dad's mom.) She's in the PI & she's very sick.

Thank you & God bless

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Wow.

Today is gonna be a crazy day. I could tell already, just because of the news I received this morning.

Lord, be my guide. Give me wisdom as we try to resolve these issues today. Lord, I rebuke feeling fearful & nervous, in the name of Jesus! I pray that You take my worries & stress away Lord. You have the power to resolve issues that seem impossible. I trust in You Lord! Glory to Your name Jesus! No weapon formed against me shall prosper! I am victorious in Christ Jesus! Hallelujah!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Yesssss!

Thank You Lord!!! Answered prayer :) hehe

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

:)

I also got to hear an awesome testimony from a former addict who was on drugs for 20 years & then he found Jesus. He also gave me free tamarindo even when I said I didn't have any cash for the things he was selling to fundraise for his organization :)

I get to go back to sj later this afternoon too!!!

I love You Lord :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Today is awesome!

Its the first day in weeks where I haven't felt miserable or wanted to cry about "it"... Haha dramatic much? But its true!

"It's" still the same & "it's" still not for me. But its the things that happened today & the people that I've talked to that lifted my spirit! Crazy that a truck that almost hit me made my day better than it has been in weeks haha... God works in such mysterious ways. I feel like He opened my eyes to see the same ol' things in a new way.

God is so good! I may not have everything I want but I sure do have everything I need. He never fails me. Never had, never will. That's one thing I can always count on :)

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Blessed :)

I'm really blessed to be alive right now... I was @ the shell gas station earlier and there was a truck that crashed into the stoplight pole near my car. Pieces of its bumper flew near my car. If the pole wasn't there, the truck would have gone straight toward me. The truck was about 20 feet away.

I am truly protected by my God!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Woooow

Someone just tried to be all racist against filipinos over the phone... She was upset (not with us tho) and started complaining about everything and then she was saying that the filipinos that work in the place she lives don't know how to talk and blah blah blah. And then when she said that, I was all, "well, I'm filipino." Then she tried to explain herself & I guess she was trying to say that she was able to understand wat I'm saying when I spoke... So I was just listening to see wat other stuff she could come up with... And then she said that she had nothing against filipinos... And then after a few more seconds, she was all " ok thank you bye."

Hahahaha. Therapeutic communications... Let the pt verbally express their emotions...

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I have lost control!

Hahaha more like I always lose control when I'm in san jose! I eat whatever I can conjure up during the week in boring b-town. And when I come home, I wanna eat everything! Everything is sooo much better when its homemade by your mommy!

I'm tired. And the lights are already off. My dogs are falling asleep on me. The reruns of my boy george lopez just aren't cutting it tonight. I should sleep now!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

*sigh*

Sometimes I just don't know and all I can do is pray...

Just gotta keep on going & trusting that the Lord will be w/me w/every step I take. Even if I took a route that made me stray, He will redirect me :) like GPS, but so so so soooo much greater :)

Thank You Jesus! I love You!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

It stinks

Soooo bad that when I'm outside, I'm always checking under my shoes to see if I stepped on crap! Hahaha

Like seriously. Smells like poo all over the place. Not always such a good idea to take a deep breath outside. The air ain't so fresh... Naw mean?!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Our song :)

Is on the radio right now! Ill never forget the night in the van when we were all on our way home.

Haha. It was jam packed with youth & I was sitting next to u. And the girl who HECKA liked u was sitting on ur other side! Hahahaha but I got u :) and she wasn't supposed to be there either... She just got in the van & we were all "uhhh, ok?"

Hahahaha maan. Those were the days! I think about it & I just wanna crack up. It never gets old! Hahaha

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Just another manic Monday...

Well, not really but I can NOT believe its only monday! My day isn't even half over... Soo not feeling well :( its making time go by so slooooooowww.

-Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Serious?

Its gonna warm up in this country town! And its not even spring yet!!! High 70's to low 80's?! Are you kidding me? What kind of weather is coming for summer? I hate summer weather! Only because my skin acts up... I love the sun, just not the super hot heat...

I hear san jose calling my name...

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Knock it off

"When u say 'that's so gay,' do u realize wat u say? Knock it off."

Seriously! Maybe some people don't personally know anyone who is gay... But they are still human & they have feelings.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

i'm a filipino girl who listens to country music!

the country-ness in this town is getting to me... hahaha

nothin' on yoooooouuu baaaby

true.

"what's the point of having it all without the person you love??"

whoooo alicia. im liking ur songs right now. hahaha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2qgU2A3Ll4

Encouraged :)

My mom sent me an email a couple days ago. And after I wrote my last blog, a few minutes ago (hah!), I remembered it, & now I feel encouraged. I read that email a couple days ago & I was like, ok? How does this apply to me? I thought it couldn't so after reading it, I closed it & kinda forgot about it.

I've been feeling like a failure on so many different levels lately. And God impressed in my heart to read that email a little more carefully to understand. And I get it now! Thank You Lord! No matter how many times the enemy tries to convince me that I'm failing, I'm not :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

its thursday

this is for you

<3,
Am

Its soooo complicated!

I don't even know where to begin! I can't even put it together into words so that this mess can all make sense! I could try but this blog would take a long time to write. Then my thumbs would hurt haha!

Maybe God just wants me to keep quiet for now. Haha that's why I can't figure out how to even describe what's been bothering me. I mean, I can try. Haha but it doesn't feel like the right time. Obviously... since the words can't even come out of me!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Prayer request

To anyone out there reading this...

Can u pray for me? There are things that I am unsure of doing & I need guidance.

Thank you :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

4 months!!!

It has been officially 4 months since I started here. Haha no biggy. Just felt like blogging it :)

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

First stop.

Lee's sandwich. Hahaha

And maybe after my sister gets off work, I can convince her to get pho with me!

I miss my asian food!!! Haha

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

this made me smile

this is for you :)
(even if we argue really bad sometimes)

i love you!

:)

Things definitely go by a lot faster when I have something to look forward to!

So glad I can go home this weekend!!! Can't wait :)

And you know, God is soo good! Whenever I feel like there is just no way, He reminds me that there IS a way & He makes the impossible, POSSIBLE! He is so great! So amazing! WOW :)

I'm like, so filled with His peace. I just have this peace & joy & I just KNOW that this is God! No matter how stressful & crazy things get, just taking a moment to breath & remembering to trust in Him in ALL aspects of my life, He's got it. He has my back. And a friend reminded me last week of this verse- Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Thanks Angela :) shout out! Haha

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

So this morning...

My mom texts me this:

Mom: Morning nakkong, the joy of the Lord is our strength, be happy para hindi ka mag mukhang matanda, love u nakkong maganda, God bless

Hahaha soo funny! I've been stressing out a lot at work lately & I've been thinking A LOT & feeling kinda sad... & so I've been talking to my parents about it. Her text made me literally lol. Hahaha

Just in case you don't understand it she says: Morning my child, the joy of the Lord is our strength, be happy so that you don't look old, love u my beautiful child, God bless

Hahaha its kind of an inside joke. Cuz she was telling me that if I think & stress out too much, its gonna age me. & she was saying that she hopes that the next time she sees me, I don't look 5 yrs older. Hahaha

It made me smile :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

:)

Thank You Lord for getting me through the day :) I couldn't have done it without You!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Its the 1st of the Month

I barely got into work 45 minutes ago & I'm already stressed out :(

Lord, help me get through today...

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

He has a plan

In Novermber 2009, I think I was a little too excited. I felt like 12 months would be like nothing. But I feel like I can barely make it to 6 months... But I'll be ok because I know God is my strength! And when the time is right, I'll be back in ESSJ :) It's all in His hands & in His time!!!

I learned a lot out here though. I think I've done a lot of growing up. I learned to survive & be independent from my parents. I learned how to cook food that I can actually eat! Haha. I finally learned how to manage my money correctly... Haha I can finally keep my "room" in order. And most importantly, I have a greater appreciation for everyone & everything in my life.

Maybe God had to take me out of my comfort zone so I could see what He has blessed me with. And if I didn't take this job, I wouldn't have seen or experienced all of that.

But I still miss home :(

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

He's got my back :)

Hahah. Yup!

So I had to go to the office for like 20 minutes after lunch & I decided to walk. It was sunny when I left my apartment & I took the 10 minute route. On my way back, I decided to walk through the neighborhood, the long way... So I'm walking & then it starts to get dark. Its windy & it got really cold. Now I'm thinking, "craaap man!" I'm like a mile away. & so I'm praying it doesn't rain...

And praise God! It didn't. It started to sprinkle once I got to the plaza next to my complex. But now it's pouring! Craaaaaazy! God is always watching out for me! Even in the little things. Like walking to & from work :) I believe He prompted me to go to the office @ a certain time so that I can get back before it started to rain. Yup!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Sore :(

Its hard to sit & stand up from my chair at work! This exercise program is really working me out! Hahaha its cool though! No pain, no gain baby! Wait till you see me after 90 days! Whaaaapppppa! Lol! I doubt I'll be at my goal but I'm sure there will be a difference when people see me! Hahaha can't wait :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I found it!

I finally have some motivation to study... What is it? Wanting to get out of this stinky (really, it smells) place!

Haha I finished 3 chapters today :)

Hahahaha ok yea...

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

What if...

I had friends that were my age in bakersfield? Would I enjoy my stay a little bit more? Oy... Work keeps me busy during the weekdays... So when I get home to my apartment, I'm just tired & hungry & I catch up with my tv shows, talk to my parents & jerm on the phone for a while... And then sleep. Then on the weekends... I'm so bored outta my mind & think a lot about the "what if's?" Uggghhhh. Like what if this... Blah blah blah... Then maybe I'd enjoy my stay here more.

2 more weeks & it'll be 4 months since I moved out of my parents house in essj. A little over 2 months & ill be here for 6 months.

I can do this. Yes. Lord, I can do this.

Had a chat w/my cousin yesterday through text. Haha. I miss having company. It succccckkks to be alone. I could go to that church I visited & make some friends. But what would be the point if I didn't feel at peace or connected w/anyone there? You know? I need friends in bakersfield :( that are my age... Haha but Yay for unlimited text & mobile to mobile :) hahaha the # of texts in our phone bill reaches thousands... I bet if I was in essj, it wouldn't be that high... Hahaha

I know I've said this before but I truly appreciate my family, bf, friends & pets(nacho&carlton hehe) a whole lot more than I did before. God gives us a limited amount of time here on earth. Life is precious. We're all getting older & I don't wanna look back on times when I could have loved certain people a little bit more. You know?

Because I'm honestly tired of having people come in & out of my life. Looking down on me for what I haven't accomplised... Tired of being fooled that I can trust certain people & in the end, they turn on me... Tired of not having consistent friendships. Tired of all the betrayal & backbiting. Tired of the competition & drama that go along with being a girl! Tired of the PLASTIC!

Hahhaha I'M SO OVER IT! I just wanna be your friend :) but if you don't feel the same, then that's cool too!

I was also tired of helping people. Cuz when they were down & out, I was there. I had yo back! But what about when I was down & out? Nothing. Or if there weren't any problems & I just wanted a friend to talk to? Ohhh you've just been really busy? Ok... But God showed me that its ok if the people I was there for, aren't there for me. I need Him, not them :)

God has blessed me with amazing people! I don't post on fb, twitter, etc calling them out. But I sure hope u guys know who you are :) And that, my friends, is why I miss home... I miss all of the awesome people who keep me sane in this crazy world!!! LOL and when I start missing my amazing family, bf, friends & pets... I start thinking of ways to get back to essj, permenantly! Hahaha never thought I'd say that!

I should sleep now. Goodnight :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

MD

The other day, this doctor asked me for my professional opinion. It was tiiiiiiiight! Hahaha I was being treated like I knew something! Awesome feeling :)

Cuz you know that being a newbie in the healthcare field, some seasoned nurses & doctors will eat you alive!

Well, I just wanted to share that experience. It was exciting for me because I was being taken seriously!

Hahaha ok, GOODNIGHT :)

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

"will you just stay with me?"

awww The Notebook is on ABC Family right now... i changed the channel at the perfect time :) this is my favorite scene.

ok. just thought i'd share.

<3,
Am

Not so bad

Being in bakersfield on a friday night... I could be in SJ... But I'm not, so I definitely gotta make the best outta my weekends here...

Tomorrow, I plan on making quiche :) I have a lot of eggs, cheese, & frozen spinach. Just hjave to buy some other ingredients... And then ill put them in a muffin pan. So I can eat one when I'm on the go! Whooohooo! I think ill freeze them too!

I'm thinking of making a steak for dinner tomorrow too! I have sirloin steak that my mom offered me to take hehehe. I can't wait to sleep in and make a pot of coffee. I'm really craving some coffee right now. Oh! I'm trying to get used to drinking coffee without cream/milk. Now I can just drink coffee w/ 2 splenda. But on the weekends, ill take a break & indulge in cream for my coffee hahaha.

So besides cooking & serving my food in cafe world, I pretty much have nothing planned for this weekend...

Ughhh sucks. oh well, gotta do what you gotta do...

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

When I can't have something, that's when I crave it the most!

Hahahaha like seriously! When I'm in SJ, I don't crave filipino food as much. But as soon as I'm in a city with only 2 filipino stores, I start craving adobo & leche flan! Maaaan! This craving is intense lol! I want tinola!

But I wanna give up rice! Haha I don't do lent... But I think for "lent" ill give up rice... Hahahaha I can lose some weight too :)

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Sunrise/Sunset

By the end of next month, the sun should be rising earlier & setting later... (thanks to daylight savings time)

I'm really excited to start walking to & from work. I see a lot of people doing that all the time! The area seems pretty safe. Lots of people go jogging around here too!

I think the plan will be to put all my work stuff in my backpack. Get to work early, then change into work clothes. Then after work, change back into reg clothes. So I don't walk in dressy shoes. And so I could look more like a student :)

That would save on gas, even though it doesn't take much gas to get to work anyway, which saves me some $$, & it helps the environment. One less car in this polluted city! I have my pepper spray just in case :) hahaha

I'm so excited :) I'm looking forward to it!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Yup

I didn't wake up until 5am... Hahaha then I went back to sleep & woke up at 730.

I feel well rested :)

Gotta finish eating breakfast then get ready for work.

I feel like I'm ready to face whatever comes my way today! Thank You Lord!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Last night in SJ...

And I'm saaaaaad :(

Right now, I'm really feeling like I don't wanna go back! Ugggghhhh, it sucks. Trying to keep positive & trying to remind myself that living in that city is not that bad. And as long as God is with me, I'll be able to get through this...

*sigh* I have days when I feel like packing up my stuff & move back to SJ. Today is one of those days.

Maybe it won't actually be that bad tomorrow... Keep me in ur prayers...

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Happy Valentine's Day :)

So I usually don't like all the hoopla that goes along with Valentine's Day... Like, I believe that you should love everyday of the year. Not just on February 14! Like, its cool to get flowers & presents... But its even better when that happens spontaneously, not just cuz the advertisements reminded you, you know? Hahahaha

So today, I don't wanna talk about what my bf & I are gonna do. Cuz honestly, I just want pho & frozen yogurt lol! But last night, he cooked up an amazing dinner for us :) I tried not to help, so I watched part of the NBA all star game for him hahaha.

I miss my sister :) hahaha that's why I'm on her bed, writing this blog. Hahaha

So anyway. What I wanted to say was that on Valentine's Day, its not about the fancy things your special someone gives you...

It's really the thought & effort that counts :) (but fancy things are nice too! Haha)

Here's a pic of the yummy dinner my bf made! We had a cesar salad to start off with. Then he grilled 2 new york strip steaks. We also had mushrooms & onions sauté'd in white wine. Then he grilled asparagus & made mashed potatoes. For dessert, we each had a piece of burnt almond cake w/banana! It was soooooooo good! Then, to end the night, we watched csi miami & ny! I love my bf :) he does the sweetest things! Sometimes... Hahahhahaha jk!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Matthew 25: 34-40

34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.


Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Oh my parents :)

Sunday morning, my dad called me twice. Then once more after dinner. He'll call me once in a while. Once a day @ the most. But 3 times on sunday? Someone was missing their oldest daughter! Hahaha I can't blame him :) lol jk. Its weird that I'm able to talk on the phone with my dad for like half an hour these days...

& for the past hour, my mom & I have been texting hahaha cuz my dad is apparently having a deep conversation & my mom doesn't wanna interrupt. Haha so we're texting until they leave.

I think its interesting how my relationship with my mom & dad is now... Its changed & its a lot better :) we've always been close but things r really different. W/my sister too. I haven't argued with her or my parents since I moved out of the house hahaha

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

God is good!

He is so faithful & He will ALWAYS provide. He makes a way when it seems impossible!

I feel so blessed! Jesus loves me & shows me that He is alive & working in my life, even in the smallest things. He is a great God! I'm so thankful!

He provides my needs, not my greed :) know what I mean?

When I start worrying about finances or if I start worrying about how my refrigerator is starting to get empty & how I can't afford to pay for another basket of groceries or household supplies until my next paycheck... God always provides. It really is difficult when ur first starting out & ur not under ur parent's roof anymore. Besides the excitement of being out on your own, there's a lot to learn. This is reality. But He wants to show me that its not my parents that I should depend on... I need to depend on Him for everything!

I could easily quit my job & find a better high paying job in SJ... Live with my parents & spend my $$ on other things besides my tuition, rent, utilities, & transportation. To some people, that would be the SMART, most LOGICAL thing to do...

But my heart tells me that I need to be here for a while. Even when I have almost nothing... & I'm on my last dime... God is my everything & that's all I need to survive out here! Thank You Lord for Your blessings!

"Lord, You never let go of me"

Ever since I moved out of my parents house, I went through things that I never imagined I would have to go through. My parents were right when I used to complain to them about petty things. Those issues seemed so big before. & they would tell me that it's just the way it is & my complaints were small compared to what is to come. It wasn't that they were telling me my problems were insignificant... But there are bigger problems to deal with. Does that make sense? Idk. But it makes a whole lotta sense to me now.

Anyway, sometimes I get lonely here.. Or really really bored... But God reminds me that He's with me & He will ALWAYS be with me, even when everyone else is so far away. Since I don't go to a bible study anymore or have anyone here to share my testimonies with... I'm going to write everything here. So that maybe someone who stumbles upon my blog will read how great God is & what He is doing in my life.

This was just supposed to be a blog about my nursing adventures, how my job is, what I'm doing, etc. But every nurse has their own story. It doesn't have to be all about nursing. God put the desire to be a nurse in my heart. He opened doors that led me here. He is in ultimate control. God is guiding my paths & taking me through this adventure. God is so awesome! Just had to share... Even if this was a really loooooong post :)

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

FB

Sooo I'm like browsing through facebook trying to see if there are any old good high school friends that I wanna add... So I come across this guy's fb & I crack up.

Why? Cuz anyone who knows me knows I hate going around certain parts of ESSJ... I just don't wanna see old high school acquaintances and its just awkward. It always goes something like "oh hey! Wassup?" "Hey! How u been?" "Good & u?" "Oh it was nice seeing u" hahaha its just AWKWARD.

So like, a friend from nursing school willingly traveled to the east side to work on a project at my house. Haha. So we were at walgreens near checkers, cuz it was the closest from the freeway. So we go our separate ways cuz I wanted to buy a soda so she's like, "hey Am! Ill go wait in line." So just as she said that, I say ok & turn around the corner & pass this guy who I went to hs & middle school with. I think nothing of it... Thinking he probably didn't recognize me.

So I get in line & tell my friend that I thought I just saw this guy I went to high school with... Then my friend tells me that she heard him say to his friend "Am? Hey, I went to high school with her" good thing they left before I got to the line. Or else akward hello's would have been exchanged... Hahaha oh man.

Then another time, my sister screamed my name @ a blockbuster store... Then someone who knew me heard it & searched for me. Hahaha she was all, I heard someone scream ur name so I wanted to find you & say hi... Hahah its cool tho. Cuz she was a good friend :) its the acquaintances that u never really talked to in hs that are most awkward...

That's what happens when people know only one Am... Hahaha

Ok. Time to get off work. Well, almost :) I just HAD to share my story. Lol

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

My life in bakersfield...

Consists of sleeping, figuring out wat to eat, then eating, drinking lots of coffee, working, studying & most importantly, spending time w/God :)

Not much goes on here... & I get homesick. A LOT!!! But we all have to make sacrifices in our lives sometimes... God allows us to go through certain things in life so that we can grow... Righhht??? Yes. Yes He does! He is the vine & we are the branches. He's got to prune us sometimes so we can grow stronger in faith. Have more passion in serving Him. More compassion for those who need Him. He's gotta take us out of our comfort zone when we get too comfortable (like 4 hours away... Haha) so that we turn to Him & trust in Him COMPLETELY! God's got a plan! HELLOOOO?! Haha

God is soo good! He never leaves my side :)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Must be nice...

To work part time but get paid for full. AND to have ur company pay for ur nursing school.

Muussst. Be. Niiiiiiicce.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

:)

God is good! Yesterday my boss suggested I leave work early so I can make it to SJ early! Whoohoo! So I made it to the Sackcloth revival! Praise God!

The weather was pretty nice as I was driving yesterday afternoon. But once I got to gilroy, it started pouring! Good thing it wasn't raining while I was on 152! I would have been freaking out :(

I went to american tires today cuz my dad said my tires were getting soft & the pressure needed to be checked & rotated. So I went thinking jerm & I would spend an hour waiting around the tire place. But the guy told me that the tread is getting low & that its safer to leave my tires as is. He said the back tires tread were really good & its perfect for this wet weather. So all that was done was the pressure in my tires. It just took a couple minutes. So yaaaay! Didn't have to sit around for an hour! Instead I went home & took a nap.
I should get ready for the revival soon tho!

So far its been a great weekend! Had yummy food for every meal :) the food is so much better here! Haha ok ok that's not fair to bakersfield. Cuz I just don't think it would be safe for me to explore the city and find places to eat by myself after work when its dark. I'm sure there are great places there... Just haven't found them yet.

Ok I better check on my laundry! I ended up not having to use all my quarters for the laundry machines in my apt. Since I'm home, there's no need :) so I gave a couple quarters to my friends son cuz there were those toy machine things at the restaurant we were at. Hahaha

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Calorie counter

Maaaan so I DLed this free app on my phone to keep track of my calories... And I gotta tell u

IT IS BOMB!

It totally helps me keep track of what I eat.

I've tried others but I honestly don't have the time to sign on to the comp every time I eat. But I AM on my phone alllll the time.

Its been a few days & its helped me from over eating! Yaaaay hahaha. It also has soooooo many different types of food that u can search for. I even found that ube sponge cake that's by regent! Hahaha sooo helpful! And even if they don't have wat ur looking for, you can easily add it.

It can even keep track of ur weight, ur exerise, how many calories ur burning. Its awesome!

So what I'm scared of for this weekend is the fact that I'm going home. I eat soooo much when I'm in SJ! And my parents wants to go to Korea House! I can't pass up that opportunity!!! Hahaha no rice for me! Ughhhh but the japchae! And their fried chicken! Its not like I go to a buffet every weekend tho right?! Hahaha so its ok :)

Oh man. How would I put that into my calorie counter? Hahaha

Ill pack for SJ tonight :) I'm too excited for this weekend!

<3,
Am


Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

So tired!

Idk! I haven't done anything out of the ordinary lately. I hope I'm not getting sick! I have plans to be in SJ this weekend!!! & I'm not about to cancel. Sick or not, I'm still going! Haha I wanna go to our church's revival. Haven't had one of those in years. I'm excited :)

Its wednesday! My day will be over in about 5.5 hrs. Hope I get busier so the time goes by faster.

I got a roll of quarters to do laundry this weekend but since I'm going to my home sweet home, there's no need :) I get to use my parents washer & dryer! Hahaha

So I wanna trim my hair & wax my brows... But I'm not sure if I trust anyone here to do that... Hahaha no offense to the people in bako but my go to people are in san jose. & it took me a while to find them. Hahaha I kno they won't mess up... & there are barely any reviews on the salons here! What's up with that?

Oh well, guess my saturday is gonna be busy! Ill find a place for my brows here. But my hair? Ill leave it to Kevin in SJ hahaha.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I slept for almost 9 hrs last night!

I didn't even do anything yesterday. Idk why I was so sleepy. Anyway, when I woke up, I had my sweater off. Lol. Actually, it was 3/4 off. My right arm was still in the sleeve... Yea. That was weird. I have no memory of that. Lol.

SJ in abt 3 more weeks. Big 'ol *SIGH*

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Bored bored bored

I drove to sj every weekend for 5 weeks straight... at first you'd think that was a lot of driving right??? But now I remember why I left every weekend...

CUZ ITS SOOOOO BORING HERE!

Omg... Hahahah if the roads weren't all wet & slick, I would have gone to sj tonite.

Ay nako!

-_-

Anyway, watching chelsea lately... Hecka funnnnnnyy! K nite.

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

It worked!

Yayyyyy! I can see the picture hahahah

But yea, that water is at least a foot deep.

The clouds covered the sun. Booo.

Ok. Yea.

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Its sunny today :)

But it was raining so hard last night! So you know what that means... I slept really well hahaha it was so hard to get up this morning. I stayed in bed until 815 but I still got to work early. Hahaha

Idk if this will work... But here is a pic of a part of my apartment parking lot that flooded.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Maybe it's me :(

But the bible study wasn't what I hoped it would be... It was in tagalog & there was no one my age. A really old school filipino bible study. Ain't nothing wrong with that... But its just not like H.I.C.C.

Idk. There just wasn't a spark. Hahaha or you know, there wasn't that "ahhhh I belong here" kinda feeling. I thought i would feel that or something. I felt welcomed tho! Very friendly people. I wouldn't mind going to a service. But I made it clear to the members that my stay in bksfld isn't permanent. I told them about "my church." I even told them that I was looking for a church to visit while I'm in town on the weekends...

So uh yea. Idk about continuing to go to their bible study. Maybe just their service. Idk. Idk. Idk... But what I do know is that God is good!

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Whoa...

God works in ways we sometimes can't understand. Then in the end, He puts all the pieces of the puzzle together & its like, WHOA!

Like, why was I offered this job in Bakersfield? Why did I accept it? God MUST have a plan for me here right?!?! Riight??

At least half of my stay here has been a struggle. I cried about my job in the past 2 months more than I've cried in the past year. That's a lot of tears maaaaaan. I felt like I made a huge mistake by taking this job & getting a 1 year lease on my apartment...

Idk why He placed me here but I have finally found a church to go to. Well, I found their website & i was hesitant to go to a service. Then He brought someone to me.

Now I'm going to a bible study :) I wasn't gonna go but this lady was all "this was not an accident." Hahaha maaaan. And you know its not. God planned it. Its sooo funny and crazy the way He works. God is good!

<3,
Amafel
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

So about this weather...

It sucks when its raining hard & you have to pee but bathrooms are outside. Our office is on the outside part of the building & there aren't any hallways to get me to the bathroom without getting my umbrella out & walking in the rain. Booooo. Suuuuuuccccks!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Home sweet home

I always enjoy being home! I feel like I appreciate my family, bf, friends, & pets more now that I don't get to talk to or see them as often...

It's going to be raining a lot this week!!! I enjoy the wet weather but I know its not safe for me to keep driving back & forth during the rainy season. Boooo! Idk when my next visit will be :(

I'm having trouble sleeping after all the coffee I drank today. 1 1/2 cups of coffee in the morning & a starbucks double shot energy drink in the mid-afternoon. Everyone's fast asleep. Including my doggy dogs. Haha. I fell asleep in my parents room while they had guests over for about an hour. But Ok. I should try sleeping again.

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

MLK!

I got it off!!! Yaaaaaaay! I get to go to church on sunday :) I get sad when I miss a service. Next wk, I need to find a church over here in bksfld!

<3,
Am
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Another thing that makes my day...

When people say they'll fax something & I ACTUALLY get it... Hahahha omg... U would not believe how something so simple could be so difficult for some people.

*SIGH*

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

What makes my day...

Is when I can actually read what a Physician puts on an order! Hahaha I don't get how other people can make out what those squiggles mean. That's skills right there lol

<3,
Am

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Uhhh... I'm a nurse

It feels kinda weird to say that I'm a nurse... Someone from the MD office called & asked to speak w/a nurse. I paused & I was thinking oh wait, I'm a nurse! Hahaha almost forgot! Lol. God is good :)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Walking to work

I'm thinking about walking to work once the sun stays out longer... I'd have to leave earlier but that could be my workout... Right???
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Whoooo!

Thank you Lord for getting me through the first work day of the new year!

I honestly had knots in my stomach because I knew how much work needed to be done today. Praise God for giving me the wisdom!

I'm so tired... I just wanna nap. But secret life of the american teenager will be on soon & I need to serve my food for cafe world haha

Today went well :) thank you Lord!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Work work work

Had a lot of work to do today! But @ least the day is almost over!!! Got a lot done :) praise God!!!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

A Healthy Heart...

Just wanted to say that I feel sooo blessed to have heard the message today! I love my church family!

That's one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time adjusting here... I miss my family, bf, friends, church, my pets... I feel lonely here sometimes. But I know that my God is with me :) It's His plan & it's better than what I would've come up with :)

If He wasn't with me, I would have moved back to sj a loooonnngg time ago lol.

& Thank You Lord for getting me home safely. Drove thru some parts of I-5 in dense fog last nite. It was so thick that I was barely able to see 100 ft in front of me! Scaryyyy :( because some drivers continue to drive around 70mph... I don't ever wanna do that again!!!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Its my last day in my hometown...

And I always feel sad when I have to leave :(

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

There is a lot to look forward to...

In 2010!!!

Not sure what's in store but for some reason, I'm really excited about this year.

I'm thankful for new beginnings! We can start this year off fresh & new. And we can move on & not look back. What's done is done :) just keep moving forward!

Today was an awesome day :)

Ended the year with an annual dinner w/a few close friends. Then jumped and shook coins w/the family & bf @ midnight. My dad led us in a prayer to start things off right! Ate lots of good food :) Then this morning, i watched Avatar for the 2nd time w/the bf. Then had lunch @ Ko Sing. Hung out around the house for a while. Then watched The Ugly Truth w/the bf, sister, & her bf.

Thank you Lord for another year!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

2010

Its finally 2010!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T